A Few Faithful, Forgiving Friends!

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Mar 272017
 

A Few Faithful Forgiving Friends

“On this crazy journey of life thru the lows of the valleys, and the highs of the mountain tops, the one who has found a faithful, forgiving friend to walk with is rich beyond all measure!”

Those of you who have hung around me long enough have heard this mantra of a ‘few faithful, forgiving friends’  roll off my tongue more than once. It is a constant thread that weaves through my life message. These kinds of people are a rare treasure indeed. I have tasted of this kind of friendship, and in this way I can say I am a rich man! My hope and wish is that all would have the joy of finding these kinds of friends and fellow sojourners.

These folk have known you a long time. They have seen the side of you that is broken, frail, fragmented and not so nice or even dark. They have seen the side of you that is beautiful, free, and full with gifts and dreams to make a difference in this world.

They love you enough to cover your vulnerable back end when exposed, to speak the truth even when it stings, and yet stick with you when you screw up and fail. They pick you up when you fall down, and they sit with you in the silence of the dark night of the soul.

They believe in you and cheer you even when others are cynical, cutting, and critical. They step out with you by investing their time, energy and money to explore and experiment in a wild adventure into the unknown together!

Below is a blog written by the Katelyn Wall, the daughter of one of my life long friends, John Wall. Read and enjoy her take on why finding some faithful, forgiving friends is so rewarding and life giving. May her blog inspire, encourage and move you to find your circle of faithful, forgiving friends!

Forgiving, Faithful, Friends

by katelynashlee

Throughout my years here in Earth, I have learnt the importance of having great, loving friends. Friends, who share you dreams and passions, challenging them and encouraging them; who admire who you are and who you are becoming; Friends, that know how to have a fun time.

A few years ago, when I was about eighteen, I travelled around India with my father and his best friend who was from Canada (Calgary, represent!). Our journey there was to visit and encourage churches to keep up the good fight. Actually, it felt a lot like what Paul and Silas, and a few others did in Acts. My fathers friend encouraged me with one of the fragrances of his life’s message, which was simply to be intentional about surrounding myself with a few, faithful forgiving friends. I remember replying by telling him he was like a book I hadn’t read yet – but the blurb sounded really interesting. I drilled him with questions about faith and life and fellowship with the church – and the world, like, ‘how do you create a meaningful life, that is inspiring, encouraging and builds a legacy?’ Part of his answers extended around the idea that we need to be intentional about doing life with others, just as the disciples did during their earthly time with Jesus, and beyond that.

Friendship is not only a good idea, it’s the promise of a better, more fruitful world and church. It promotes peace and unity is its outpouring. A possibility of kindness and freedom and truth, rather than deceit and failure and war. It has the power to withstand things, it is supportive, and when it’s done right, it’s empowering. Friends point you towards a brighter future, a healthier you and a happier existence. Surrounding yourself with a Few Faithful Forgiving Friends, means you walk into relationship where there is no needy things among you. Friends that stick by you, sharpen you, point you towards the Father and forgive you when you fail to meant those goals. Friends that share in the inheritance of the Holy People in the Kingdom of Light (Col 1: 9-12). They call out the best in you, by challenging the worst. 

I was 20 when I first picked up Bob Goff’s book, LoveDoes. It inspired me, among many things, to work towards establishing friendships that are meaningful, intentional and filled with unconditional love. He puts it like this;

“Being engaged is a way of doing life, a way of living and loving. It’s about going to extremes and expressing the bright hope that life offers us, a hope that makes us brave and expels darkness with light. That’s what I want my life to be all about – full of abandon, whimsy, and in love.” – Bob Goff

One of my life ambitions now is to become friends with Bob. 

 

But it doesn’t start there. It starts right now, in the living room of my best friend’s new crib. Friends who I’ve journeyed with since we were children. Friends who have championed me, forgiven me, and inspired me to continue fighting for what I believe in. They are faithful friends that pursue the good things in me.
It starts here with my housemates, sharing life stories in order that we might catch a glimpse of the wonderful joy in life and be welcomed into share it.
It starts right now in the decisions you make when interacting with strangers. When we chose to simply be friends without an agenda. When we are engaging and connecting; by being present and making the decision to simply, do it. It creates positive change, and I believe the world is hungry for it. 

“All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions were their own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all, that there were no needy persons among them.” – Acts 4:32-34

So today marks the start of something new – A life lived with intension. The early church got it, they so lived in fellowship that there was no one among them who needed something. And it probably wasn’t only physical needs.

Just as Paul said, “Therefore as Gods chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you have grievance against someone. Forgive, as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” 

Just a Few Faithful Forgiving Friends.

katelynashlee | March 6, 2017 at 3:13 pm | Tags: BobGoffcompassionempowerfaithfellowshipfriendshopeunity | Categories: journey | URL: http://wp.me/p37xUL-3H

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What is Church? Part 3: Best Practices for Weaving a Visible Tapestry of Church

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Jun 292014
 

The Visible Tapestry of Church: Practicing Sacraments with Life!

 

Can you see God's tapestry of relationships connecting all around you?

Can you see God’s tapestry and beautiful mosaic of relationships being connected all around you?

Within the hidden tapestry of the Kingdom and the invisible Church, God’s idea is for there to be visible, local, and unique shapes of church where at least 2 to 3 followers of Jesus gather together, and live life together. These organized and visible expressions of church will be made up of diverse ethnic groups, age groups, socioeconomic groups, styles, and models. Each of these unique shapes of church when seen as a connected whole form a colorful and beautiful mosaic. Each church is one of the threads that when woven together create a tapestry that reflects a picture of what Jesus and His Kingdom look like.

Our practices are the borders that define who we are!

Our practices are the borders that define who we are!

The unchangeable DNA or nucleus is Jesus and His Kingdom way of living. Then there are distinctive practices that form the semi-permeable borders or boundaries of the visible church, defining who we are and what we are about. Irrespective of culture, context, model of church, or period in history, these practices have given the visible church a clear collective identity.

How we express these practices, or the packaging through which these practices are expressed will be varied and diverse as we try to be culturally relevant.

These essential practices are what I will refer to as sacraments. To a Jesus follower, all of life is to be an act of worship or a sacrament. There is to be no separation or compartmentalization between our lives of worship in the normal routines of work, play, eating, marrying, raising of kids, and the practices or sacraments we walk out in our church gatherings. What we do in a church gathering is to bleed into or spill over into our everyday normal life, and gives reality to our worship rituals when we meet together.

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around-life—and place it before God as an offering.” Romans 12:1

What are sacraments? Simply put sacraments are holy practices where heaven and earth kiss. Invisible God in some mysterious way meets with us and reveals Himself to us in the participating together of these visible practices.  What makes a practice or sacrament holy?

In God every act of life is holy!

In God every act of life is holy!

Sacraments are visible rituals, rites, and practices we participate in as a community that remind us of our identity in Jesus, and demonstrate a Kingdom culture, ethic, and way of living life. These practices become holy when God infuses His life into our normal, sometimes mundane, human activities in some mysterious way. If we come to these sacraments with an open heart, we invite the Spirit of God to change us from the inside out.”

For us to get a full picture of God’s idea of the Church, the open, invisible tapestry of church needs to be become visible. This happens when a group of Jesus followers commit to come together and form a local community around their raison d’etre found in Jesus. As a community, they call and encourage each other to walk out the Kingdom Rule of Life summed up in Matthew 5-7. When they gather as a community, they participate in a rhythm of practices infused with the life of God. Their identity in Jesus and these practices differentiate them from any other club or community.

Another way to put it is that the visible church is not just an open system with no borders where we simply conform to our culture and context with no clear identity. Where there are no values and practices to define who we are, we are no longer able to be salt and light. We become a tasteless blob. In some of the current ways of walking out church, some have watered things down to the lowest common denominator because of a desire not to offend anyone, or to try and fit in with the culture.

There are some essential practices that need to be part of the rhythm and routines of any gathered church in any country or culture, irrespective of model of church, and which transcend the changes going on around us. Though the packaging or form can be adapted to any culture or context, the core practices remain the same.  What are those ageless, best practices of the church gathered?

1. The Sacrament of the Table: Centering, Celebrating, and Communion!

What is the Eucharist sacrament?

What is the Eucharist sacrament?

One of those sacraments is what we in the church have called the Lord’s supper, communion or the Eucharist. For most of us who have grown up in the church this ceremony involves a priest, pastor, or elder of the church dispensing some wine or juice and a tiny piece of bread or wafer to be partaken of in a rather somber and serious way.

For those looking in or who have a distant religious memory, there are some questions that pop up. During this ceremony of eating a wafer and some wine do the elements actually turn into the blood and body of Jesus? Sounds kinda gruesome to be eating someone’s body and blood! Do you have to be a card carrying member of that church to be able to participate?

I remember as a kid thinking that if this ceremony is meant to celebrate Jesus why are we so skimpy with the portions, and why do people act like they have just been to a funeral. Why don’t we grab a hunk of bread and with a full goblet of juice or wine toast King Jesus with a hearty clinking of our cups and a cheer? Why don’t we practice this ritual around a sumptuous meal with friends?

This ageless practice is first and foremost to center us as a community around Jesus. He is the reason we exist as a community. It is the simplest, and the central act of worship. We celebrate that in some mysterious, yet tangible way, Jesus is present with us in eating of the bread and wine. We are acknowledging His presence, expressing our love for Him, and inviting Him to infuse us with His life to go out into the world.

It is also to a time to celebrate and say thank you, Jesus for reconciling us to God. We are celebrating the coming of His Kingdom through His life, death and resurrection bringing freedom to us from sin, death, and Satan.

We welcome all to come to the table and receive the ‘life to the full’ that Jesus promises us. In Luke 14: 1-23 Jesus tells us to go out and invite the poor, the crippled, the blind, the foreigner, and the lonely to come to the table. We are really practicing or having a dress rehearsal for the big Feast that is coming when there will be people from every tribe and tongue sitting at the table together.

Celebrating Jesus and life together with a circle of friends around a fine meal!

Celebrating Jesus and life together with a circle of friends around a fine meal!

Since food is the language of relationship, it is hard to eat with our enemies or those who have hurt us. In coming around the table, we have a chance to reconcile through the giving and receiving of forgiveness.

In our more  formal ways of practicing the Eucharist, the ritual is done at the front with each individual receiving a wafer or piece of bread and some wine or juice from a elder, priest, or pastor. We eat and drink the bread and wine returning to our pew or seat. Though this approach is most practical when you have a larger group gathered, I would like to suggest that we miss out on some of the communal and celebratory parts of this communion. It becomes somewhat of an individualistic ritual.

The practice of this sacrament with a smaller group of friends and guests we invite to the table, like new immigrants, around a shared meal allows for a deeper exchange of intimacy. Instead of one person dispensing the bread and wine, we share the bread and wine with each other.

Weave this sacrament into your planned gatherings big or small on a regular basis, but also into your suppers with your family, or when you are practicing hospitality with some friends who may not be church goers. Share a meal together with food from the different countries represented, and then cap off the meal with a time of toasting King Jesus with a chunk of bread or handful of rice, and some juice or wine. Though the packaging or form can be adapted to any culture or context, the core practice remains the same. Include prayer for special needs such as healing as part of the sacrament.

2. The Sacrament of Baptism: Initiation Rites Into the Community

Outward sign of an inner decision to walk out faithfulness!

Outward sign of an inner decision to walk out faithfulness!

Baptism is a visible act of saying, “Yes, I’m in.”  The act of baptism in and of itself doesn’t save anyone. It is like a gang member getting a tattoo. The physical symbol brands that person, and shows the rest of the world that this person is serious about their allegiance to this particular gang. As well, the gang welcomes that person in with all their backing and protection.

Piercing is not just a modern day phenomenon to communicate the inward choices or convictions of the heart. In the O.T., when a servant was given their freedom by their master, the servant could voluntarily out of love choose to get their ear pierced. This outward sign was to show that they had become a bond servant for life out of love. (Ex. 21:5-6) What a great picture!

In a similar way, a person in our community who is wanting to outwardly demonstrate their love and commitment to Jesus and the community would be baptized. Whether you sprinkle, or fully dunk to me makes no difference. The rite should be public with some vocal declaration of the person’s choice to pledge their allegiance to King Jesus, His Kingdom, and His community.

Be creative with this. I remember baptizing a friend, and now member of our family, in a tub in our kitchen! Another friend of mine baptized some folks under a shower when on a trip to a country where becoming a follower of Jesus can be a dangerous decision. It’s fun to do this at a park by the river or lake so outsiders can observe.

Baptism like marriage is a ceremony where in front of friends, family, and even strangers we are committing to walk out being faithful to Jesus and His community called church.

3. The Sacrament of Reading and Practicing the Scriptures: Learning, Living and Passing On the Jesus Way of Life

What is the Big Story?

What is the Big Story?

The reading of the Scriptures, interpreting, and applying of the Scriptures together with the help of the Holy Spirit is a key sacrament. We need to be constantly reminded of the Big Story of God’s redemptive plan for this world, and how we can play a part in this Meta-narrative.

There are some who are gifted to teach and explain the Scriptures to us. Public or platform teaching does not exclude the need to be reading and applying the Scriptures in the context of a smaller group where there is room for dialogue, discussion, even disagreement, and formation through application.

Information and knowledge alone do not change people. We need an encounter with Jesus that motivates and empowers us to change. We need some friends to show us the way! We learn a way of life by watching others and then going for it. We pass on a way of life by inviting others to live life with us so we can learn from each other!Learning by copying

Learning includes motivation, information, and application. In most of our gathered settings, we have been fairly effective in motivating, and informing people on the Big Story and the Kingdom way of living.

Where we’ve been remiss is in not creating space in our meetings for folks to get with a couple of friends in a break out group to share how the Holy Spirit has been speaking to them about applying what they have heard in the teaching.  The sharing would also include an opportunity to be accountable for acting on what they hear, and prayer for empowering.

Learning from each other

Learning from each other

We all need some trusted friends to show us the way and to be accountable for follow through on what we say we will do. This kind of application and accountability best happens in a small group.

The key is to blend the motivation and informational types of teaching and preaching of the Scriptures in larger gatherings with the application and accountability happening in smaller clusters of friends.

Another practice should be the regular telling of stories from our everyday lives of how we have had the chance to be part of God’s unfolding Big Story at work, school, in our neighborhoods, and in our families. How have we encountered Jesus and His Kingdom last week or today? The ageless story becomes fresh when we live it daily and weekly.

4. The Sacrament of Sacred Space and Symbols: 

Iona 1In a worldview that does not separate the secular and the sacred, we realize that everywhere we go is a holy place, and that God is not contained in a temple or church building. (Acts 7:48; 17:24) Often God is showing up in the dark places as well as in the normal venues of our home, neighborhood, work place, and such.

Having said that, I do believe that there is a tension here. I remember visiting Durham Cathedral and the island of Iona some years ago while on a spiritual pilgrimage of sorts.  On the outside of the Durham Cathedral was a plaque that read, “For more than a thousand years prayer has been offered in this place…” When you enter the Cathedral you can sense the presence of God in a very tangible and powerful way. The place has been saturated with God.Iona 2

Iona, a remote and beautiful island where a Celtic Christian community was founded, is known as a thin place in Celtic Christianity and by spiritual seekers of all sorts. A thin place is said to be a location where the separation between heaven and earth is as thin as a tissue. In these places, it seems easier to connect with God. In creation these places are often high places, or remote and rugged places of raw beauty. Often these become places of worship whether to God or the dark side.

I believe that as the church gathered we need sacred spaces where the separation between heaven and earth is tissue thin. We can do this by reclaiming buildings where a church used to meet, but has died. We can do this by soaking new venues or dark places such as a former strip club with prayer and worship.

People are looking for places of serenity and beauty as reprieves from the consumerism and chaos of city life. Many new churches build or choose utilitarian buildings for meeting spaces out of a value for maximizing the use of their building beyond Sunday morning.

Creating places of beauty as icons.

Creating places of beauty as icons.

In the Protestant world, we have tended to be iconoclastic and diminished the value of beauty as an end unto itself.  In our value for good stewardship, let us not neglect the value for creating spaces of beauty investing time and money. This may seem wasteful, but the God we worship loves to lavishly invest in beauty even when it doesn’t seem to serve any useful purpose.

If we are meeting in facilities that are plain and functional such as a community center, commission the artists to create a place of beauty through paintings, murals, sculptures, icons, and mosaics that help us connect to an invisible God.

5. The Sacrament of Shared Life Together: Diving in Close to Home with Some Friends

In our fragmented world, most of our lives are lived separated from one another. We are suffering from a pandemic of loneliness, busyness, and consumerism. There is a longing for belonging, integration, simplicity, deeper friendships, family, and the sharing rather than hoarding of resources.

Living life together!

Living life together!

Many of us have stories of experiments, mostly in our youth, where we pursued the ideals of  ‘deeper’community. We wholeheartedly gave of ourselves to live life in close proximity with some friends. The pursuit of a shared life together may have included sharing some common meals together, pooling of finances to be distributed to those in need, and some sort of rule of life. Some of these turned out, but many of them ended up in disaster due to immaturity, and host of other factors.

Often in our zeal we leapfrogged to the ideal without the grace needed to live out the ideal. There was nothing wrong with the ideal. We simply didn’t have the character of Jesus yet to live it out. We may have become disillusioned and vowed to never risk like that again.

We’ve settled for church lite. We go to meetings, but avoid the risk of going deeper in our relationships.

There is no better way to surface our growth issues and selfishness than to live in close proximity with some other people who are different from us. It is a chance for real formation into the nature of Jesus to occur.

no admittance signIn most of church expressions, our gatherings allow us to rub shoulders, but we can leave the meeting being polite with one another while hiding the rooms in our interior castle that have a ‘No Admittance’ sign. We can show the nice side of who we want people to see without the pressures of living close to one another surfacing our ‘dark side’.

Often what seem like small things such as differences in parenting styles, differences in personality or how we practice sharing fester and blow up a good thing.

In most monasteries or monastical orders, a newbie, called a novitiate, who wants to join the community spends at least a year in a trial period so that both sides can evaluate whether it will work or not. After a year, the novitiate takes their vows to commit to the order. When one signs up for the order the rule of life is clear and not up for negotiation. Either you buy in or not.

The question is how do we pursue ‘deeper community’ without killing each other or starting a monastical or missionary order with clear lines of ‘in and out’? Most real lifers cannot live to that degree of intensity or commitment.

I suggest we start by calling a few folks to move into the same neighborhood together. Buy separate homes on the same block or within walking or biking distance of one another, so that we can drop in on one another spontaneously.

Another option is to get to know our immediate neighbors, and listen for those who are longing for deeper community. You can start with a block party to simply deepen connection. Look for those who are longing for more, are open to spiritual conversation, and serving one another. Form a small group with these folks where you share a meal, celebrate communion, and pray for one another.

life together 4

Talk through and negotiate an agreed upon rule of life with 2-5 folks.  This rule of life might start with a common meal together once a month, and over time increasing it to once a week. Share resources with one another like baby sitting, car pooling, lawn mowers, a shared community garden in one person’s yard, and chip in to a pool of finances to be given away to whoever has a need.

Try serving together in a common mission in your neighborhood. If you can learn to resolve conflicts in a healthy way, and stay together for 1-5 years, anything is possible.

My hope is to see many small circles of friends ask the following questions:

Beauty out of brokennessWhy don’t we go on a God adventure by moving into the same neighborhood and living life together? What would it look like to love our hood to Jesus by serving the felt needs of our hood, and making it a better place to live? Where is God already at work in our hood restoring relationships, rebuilding the ruined places, bringing beauty out of devastation, bringing joy where there has been sorrow, and bringing freedom where there has been bondage? How can we be part of that?

Now with God’s backing go for it!

Tim Schultz

Our Deepest Longing In Relationships: Experiencing and Practicing Unfailing Kindness and Faithfulness

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Sep 102013
 
What we all long for!

What we all long for!

Most of our problems in marriages, relationships, community, and church flow from a faulty view of the nature of God and the toxic residue we carry from our experiences of broken trust, promises and covenants not kept, and of betrayal in our relationships with one another. We get tired and resentful when we initiate with people, and they don’t initiate in return. We often feel like we have been used in relationships to benefit someone else’s agenda, or on the flip side we’ve been guilty of using people to meet our needs. We have a hard time trusting God or people because they have not kept their end of the bargain from our perspective.

I believe this is how many folks outside of the church feel when we develop a relationship with the subtle unspoken, or sometimes spoken agenda of converting them, or getting them into our church. People are smart and can smell a slick vacuum cleaner salesmen or multi-level marketing scheme a mile away.  What would it look like to love people with no strings attached? Is that even possible or right?

He loves us even if we reject Him!

He loves us even if we reject Him!

I believe that our best example of how authentic relationship works comes from God. The highest value in the Trinity is relationship flowing out of love. God loves us with no strings attached. He keeps His end of the bargain even when we don’t. He remains faithful even when we are unfaithful. (II Tim 2:13) He is a covenant and promise keeping God. (Hebrews 6:13-19) God takes the risk of loving us first while being fully aware that we may choose not to love Him in return. The Trinity will continue to love us even when we don’t reciprocate that love. He demonstrates unfailing kindness to us.

Hesed 1The Hebrew word for this core part of the nature of God is Hesed. It is such a rich and profound word that describes the kind of relationship God practices. In Exodus 34: Psalm 86:15 from the Message says it this way: “But you, O God, are both tender and kind, not easily angered, immense in love, and you never, never quit. ”  This thread of God’s faithfulness and everlasting kindness is woven through out the Bible. I believe it is the highest ethic in God’s heart, and what we so long for in our relationship with God, and one another. When we experience faithfulness we are secure in our relationships!

Sealing the deal!

Sealing the deal!

In the O. T., there are some interesting practices when one entered into a covenant with God or another person. An animal was sacrificed and cut in two halves from the nose to the tail. The two parties would stand on the blood facing each other. They would pledge their lives to each other, commit their wealth to each other, and they promised to take care of each others relatives if the either party died (Go’el – near kinsmen). They would pledge to be loyal to each other even if one party should screw up. They would then walk in a circle 8 around the halved animal, so that they ended up where the other party had stood to begin with. To seal the covenant, they would cut their wrists and grasp hands letting their blood mingle, and they add the other persons name to their name. In Genesis 17: 5 when God makes a covenant with Abram. Abram takes part of God’s name JHAWEH and inserts into his name becoming Abraham.

In our understanding of God, many of us wonder if He is a dual personality playing Jekyll and Hyde. In some instances in the Bible, He comes across as an angry God doling out severe punishments, wiping out people, and then on the other hand extending mercy. He seems to flip flop, depending on His mood that day. In relating to this kind of God we walk on  egg shells never really knowing whether He will be kind towards us or angry at us. Out this notion of who God is we have a hard time trusting Him. This then impacts how we relate to one another.

I believe that to understand God’s holiness, judgments, power, and justice, we must see these characteristics through the prism of Hesed. If we don’t, holiness becomes legalism, a list of behaviors through which we judge people, or a form of religion where by through our behavior we try to win God’s approval. Through this skewed lens, justice and His judgments are viewed as punitive, or God venting His anger rather than demonstrations of His love.

Love puts boundaries around us to protect us!

Love puts boundaries around us to protect us!

When God stands up for and defends the under dog (the poor, the widow, the foreigner and the alien) we see His love expressed in justice. When through His judgments He brings order out of chaos caused by sin we taste of His unfailing kindness to restore His fabric of beauty, peace, and generosity to all of creation. When we experience the discipline of God, we see a Father who loves us enough to train us so we grow up. He cares enough to put up fences to keep us from harm, and yet gives us the freedom to face the consequences of crossing these boundaries. (Hebrews 12:5-11).

When it comes to God we are to respect Him, fear Him, and stand in awe of Him. Yet we can respect someone we don’t really like. If our view of God is that He is consistently angry, not pleased with us, constantly pointing out our faults and sins, and looking for reasons to punish us, we will want to hold Him at arms length. We end up avoiding or hiding from Him. If we see Him as a grouchy, mean-spirited, war mongering, vindictive God who keeps score, we will want to avoid spending time with Him, especially if we have not been faithful.

His Kindness never fails!

His Kindness never fails!

If our image of God is one where the consequence of choosing not to love Him is that He will rejects us, or will turn His back on us, we end up acting like servants trying to keep a Master happy, not friends. Yet Jesus in John 15 says that God wants us to be friends not merely servants.  The question is “Do you like the God you worship? 

Yet His nature is so opposite to what many of us believe. He is first and foremost  a merciful and faithful God. When we blow it, He gives us a second, third, fourth, and who knows how many chances. It is His kindness that brings us to repentance. It is love that changes people.Do we really believe that? Exodus 34:6 in the Message says: “God, God, a God of mercy and grace, endlessly patient– so much love, so deeply true — loyal in love for a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, rebellion, and sin..”

The practical question is: When we have tasted of and are secure in the unfailing kindness (Hesed) of God how will that impact how we live out relationships in community and mission?  There is much that could be said, but for the sake of brevity, I will pose a few questions to ponder and ideas of how we can apply Hesed in our relationships in and outside of our communities of faith.

The end goal of communities of Jesus followers is summed up in John 15;13: Greater love has on one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”  “We are to become a community of faithful forgiving friends!” 

Communities of faithful friends!

Communities of faithful friends!

Below are some questions to help us move towards that goal.

  1. When have you experienced betrayal or broken covenant in your life? What trust issues do have as a result?
  2. Is there still residual pain that causes you to hold God and people at arms length?
  3. Do you keep score and hold on to grudges from past hurts?
  4. When people don’t keep their end of bargain or meet up to your expectations do you feel resentful or look for pay back?
  5. Do you have some relationships in your life where there is no other agenda other than to simply enjoy their presence with no strings attached? The relationship is not founded on whether the personcan perform some function to further your agenda or mission as a community?
  6. How do you react to folks who blow it big time? Is their a safety in your community for folks to be vulnerable and honest with their mess? What happens when a person of another sexual orientation comes into your community?
  7. Does your community quickly make space and welcome in the foreigner, widow, single moms, orphans, and the poor?
  8. When a leader in the community has to step back from leading, do they still feel welcome and a part of the of the community? Is there an inner circle of the cool leader types and an outer circle of folks in your community? Is it hard to break into the ‘in’ circle?
  9. Is there the freedom to express our spoken and unspoken expectations for community, and the freedom for people to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to those expectations?
  10. Have you ever experienced people moving into the same neighborhood together to love one another and serve that community? Have you ever experienced people selling a second house or car and giving all that money to the poor out of love?
  11. Are you becoming a friend of Jesus and do you have a band of faithful, forgiving friends who practice ‘Hesed’?
Staying True!

Staying True!

When it comes to mission I believe we need to have genuine friendships with those outside the church and love people whether they ever say ‘yes’ to Jesus or not. We are to love folks whether they ever come to our church community or not.

Without authentic relationship where we love people with no strings attached, we end up assuaging our guilt, or getting weird by doing forms of power or prophetic evangelism where we parachute in and out of people’s lives doing our thing to people in a strange way. We end up doing programs of evangelism, like sharing the 4 spiritual laws, that feels forced or aggressive. We come across as arrogant, and as if we have the truth and others don’t. We do proclamation evangelism through a meeting without taking the time to really get involved with folks God has put around us to love and be loved by. All of these approaches to sharing our faith are good and effective, but lack integrity if we don’t start with real relationships.

We need to chill and begin by just loving people, and letting them love us in return. Out of relationship, God will give us opportunity to share our story of how we have had an encounter with Jesus where we have tasted of His unfailing kindness that has met the deepest longing in our hearts, and is the reason why we love others with no strings attached. As Jesus said in John 13:35 “As I have loved you, so you must love one another. All men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.” 

 

 

 

 

The Top 10 Things I’ve Learned About Church Planting Through the School of Hard Knocks!

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Feb 132013
 

10 tips for church plantingI get excited whenever I hear about new churches starting up. As far as I’m concerned, there is always room for more churches of every stripe and type to be planted in every neighborhood, town, and city. Over the years I have had the honor and delight of planting a few churches as well as being a birthing coach and cheer leader to a number of new missional communities. By virtue of my personality type and gift mix as a persistent, and yes at times bull headed and stubborn pioneer, I must confess that I have had to learn some of what I’m about to share through the application of the two by four method. In other words by doing things the wrong way and wondering why my nose is so raw, I’ve come to realize that perhaps this is simply the nature and learning style of most church planters, catalysts, and pioneers. With that in mind, I hope that through the hard lessons I’ve learned backwards with a few bumps,bruises and scars to show for it, I can help a few pioneers not repeat those mistakes and possibly help prevent some church planting disasters or shipwrecks.

1. Start with a team of faithful, forgiving friends who have complimentary gifts and a shared vision!

Plant a missional community with some faithful, forgiving, friends!

Plant a missional community with some faithful, forgiving, friends!

  • Ask the question who would you want to ‘be and do’ church with?
  • The two tests of true friendship are conflict and time. Look for friends who have passed these tests to be part of your team.
  • A good team has a mixture of pioneers and settlers, gatherers and nurturers.
  • Keep clarifying and coming into agreement with your team around your core values and practices in living out mission and community.
  • Have fun together and don’t take yourselves too seriously.
  • Be in each others homes eating and sharing life together.

2. Set the DNA for missional living right from the get go!

  • Become friends with the poor.
  • Form community around the friends you make.
  • Be present and make time to form authentic relationships with your neighbors.
  • Find the ‘third places’ in your community and hang out there. These are the places that people gather and are neutral such as cafes, pubs, the library.
  • Volunteer to serve in your community through coaching a sport, getting involved in your kids schools, forming a book club, or by starting a parenting or marriage course and then advertising it in the community
  • Take people on a missions trip to the developing world or on a ministry trip where they get to do the stuff at least once a year. Forming a hospitable missional culture will keep the community healthy.
  • Be cognizant of your ‘spoken versus your unspoken culture’ – what we say versus what we actually do.

Spoken values need to be translated into feet values!

3. Go slow to go fast!

  • Resist the temptation to go to a public Sunday morning gathering as long as you can. Going public to quickly will draw the malcontents, and those looking for the the ‘next big thing’ to attach themselves to.
  • Remember that a crowd does not a community make!
  • Prioritize small groups right from the get go. The rule of thumb is to have 3-5 small groups before going to a Sunday service.
  • Pace yourself. The temptation as a visionary is to go so fast that those following you can’t keep up, and then unknowingly the community or your leadership will burnout or feel like they are constantly getting whiplash.

Remember that what you as a visionary consider to be a 3 degree slight shift of direction will feel like a 90 or 180 degree jolt farther down the tail.

Relax in the rest of God by living His unforced rhythms of grace.

Relax in the rest of God by living His unforced rhythms of grace.

4. Keep the mission simple: “Love God and Love Your Neighbor”!

  • Practice the unforced rhythms of simplicity, silence, solitude, and prayer on a daily and weekly basis.
  • Encourage your team to move into the same neighbourhood together, or encourage clusters of folks to consider moving into other neighbourhoods in your city.
  • Practice the “art of neighbouring”.  There is great little book written by Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon that has the same title and well worth having your community read and apply!
  • Bake some cookies and go meet your neighbours who you don’t know by name yet.
  • Have block parties.
  • Give and receive from the people living right next to you with no strings attached! When we put ourselves in a posture to receive we get out of the power position, and the relationships with our neighbours become mutual and authentic.
  • Don’t try so hard to convert people that’s God’s job. Simply tell your story and watch for who the Holy Spirit is drawing into the Kingdom.

5. Prioritize One To One Apprenticing!

Making babies is the fun part of parenting or apprenticing, yet it also comes with the hard work of changing diapers!

  • Get our of your office and spend a good chunk of your week in ‘one to one mentoring’.
  • Look for who is hungry and teachable and spend lots of time with these folks.
  • Be organically intentional or deliberate in the process.
  • Remember that church planting is just the natural byproduct of apprenticing. The making of disciples is the accidentally on purpose strategy for church planting. Once you have a few disciples you have the core team for a church plant.
  • Pass on the Jesus way of life by having people live in community with you or shadowing you.
  • Spend time surfacing and walking out healing for the family of origin wounds that we all bring to and project on the church. If someone has unresolved ‘mommy or daddy owies’ these wounds will impact how that person relates to you as the church planting couple. Spiritual health is directly connected to how emotionally healthy a person is. Suggested read: The Emotionally Healthy Church: A Strategy for Discipleship that Actually Changes Lives by Peter Scazzero

6. Lead from your sweet spot!

  • Relax and don’t over grip your club or racket!  When we are stressed or trying to hard we will not be fruitful. Live in the pocket of God’s peace and rest.
  • Resist the temptation to copycat models and methodologies that work for someone else and don’t compare yourself to other churches or leaders.
  • Be yourself and don’t fall into the trap of trying to live from the ‘ought self’ – what you internally and others externally expect you to be.

7. Keep Casting a Vision for Jesus and the Big Story of His Kingdom while calling out the song of the Kingdom in each person. 

  • We are part of a grand narrative that needs to be told afresh to each generation.
  • God has dropped the song or seeds of the Kingdom in each person. This is the longing in each person for intimacy and the desire to make a difference on this earth through the gifts and passions they have. We as leaders are to call this out and cheer folks on to live the Kingdom dream!
  • Give room for the mystery of the ‘already not yet of the Kingdom’.
  • Teach and live the themes of justice, peace, righteousness, joy, mission, reconciliation, and healing.
  • Do the stuff of praying for the sick, deliverance, caring for the poor, and loving your enemies.
  • Train others to do likewise – watch what I do, go do it,  and then let’s debrief.

8. Do a few things well.

  • Learn to say no to the good things that are not the best, especially the good ideas that people bring to you, but want you to execute.
  • Focus on those things that people are willing to commit time, energy, and money to.
Look for life and nurture it.

Look for life and nurture it.

9. Find life and form simple structure around that life.

  • God is the initiator of life. What we need to learn is to see where God is birthing life and put some simple structures around that life.
  • Look for circles of 3 people who are already friends and doing something together. Simply bless that and come alongside and coach it.
  • Start your small groups by asking these two questions: Who do you have faith for? Who would you go to if you had a struggle in your marriage, or if you had an hidden addiction that you can’t kick on your own.

10. Discern the seasons of your life and community.

  • When it is winter season there will be some culling and pruning of activity and people. Don’t panic or try to start new things in this season. Ask the question what and who do we need to let go of even if it is painful? God is wanting you to go deeper in your roots and character.
  • Practice lament when there is loss.
  • Celebrate when it is a season of growth such as when with new babies are being born in the natural, and into the spiritual family.
  • Throw great parties and remember to have fun!

 

By Tim Schultz

 

 

 

 

Living a Life of Freedom

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Aug 072012
 

Freedom From All Forms of Slavery

“The freest people I know realize that they really own nothing and no one. They realize that everything they have is on loan! They choose to let go and not hold on to offenses by practicing forgiveness. They are comfortable in their own skin and have no need to prove themselves, or conform to what others would like them to be. Those who are truly free are rooted in the fact that they are loved, accepted, and that they belong. They are free from living a life of fear. Through experiencing the relentless love of God, they are able to give and receive love out of a full reservoir rather than looking to others or to things to fill the black hole. I believe that following Jesus, and His way of life offers us the real freedom to live life fully both now and for eternity!”

 Galations 5:1 says “Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.”

A couple of weeks ago I had the honour of speaking at a camp for 8-15 year olds on the subject of Freedom. Below are the principles I shared with them on the way to live a life of freedom. These principles and practices of walking out a life of freedom are applicable for all of us know matter what age or stage of life.

1. To Be Free We Need To Receive The Love Of Our Perfect Papa. (Ephesians 1:3-6)

You Are Loved by a Perfect Father!

  • Our Heavenly Father loves us dearly with no strings attached. The above verses state that He thought up the idea of making us the focus of His love even before He created the world!  His love for us cannot be earned. He simply wants us to receive it! Incredible!
  • Our Dad in Heaven chose to adopt us into His family, not because He had to, but because He wanted to! We belong!
  • Nothing can separate us from His love!
  • We all have a love deficit that only God can fill. Otherwise, we will look to other people to meet this need to be loved and end up disappointed or in some cases abused.
  • Have you ever had an experience of God’s love for you?
  • Take a moment and ask God, the only perfect dad, to soak you in His love!
2. To Be Free We Must Choose to Receive and Extend Forgiveness. (Ephesians 4:32)
  • We need to Receive God’s Forgiveness: There is no sin to big that God will not forgive if we simply humble ourselves and become honest with Him!
  • We need to Forgive Ourselves.
  • We need to Forgive Others that have hurt us! Let go of offenses so that you don’t become a slave to bitterness that will eat you up!
  • Who do you need to Forgive?

Courage is Overcoming Our Fears

3. To Be Free We Need to Overcome Our Fears (I John 4:17-18)

  • God’s love gives us the power to overcome fear.
  • Do you fear abandonment or rejection?
  • Do you fear failure?
  • Do you fear what other people think of you?
  • Ask God to fill you with His love!
4. To Be Free Become a Follower of Jesus (John 8:35-36)
  • Jesus is inviting you to have a relationship with Him
  • His way of life will free you from all the dead-end life of slavery to sin which destroys our lives
  • All you have to do is let go of being in control and say ‘Yes’ to Jesus!
  • Jesus will change you from the inside out! His desires become your desires and vice versa.
  • Start living from your heart!

5. To Be Free To Fly We Need to Discover and Live Our God-Given Destiny! (Deut. 32:10-11)

We are called to soar like an eagle!

  • God is inviting us to join Him on His Mission Impossible to bring a little bit of heaven here on earth!
  • He is in the business of redeeming this world, and restoring it back to His original idea of a place where there is no more pain, poverty, death, disease, divorce, destruction of the environment, division between ethnic groups, economic and gender injustices, sex-slavery, and war!
  • Should we accept the invitation to join Him, we have the amazing joy of welcoming others into a free relationship with Him.
  • He is asking us to invest the passions, talents, gifts, education, and resources He has given us to steward in His Kingdom Enterprise. Through partnering with Him, we have the privilege of restoring all of creation back to His original plan.
  • What is your purpose for being on planet earth? (Jer. 29:11-14)

6. To Be Free Find a Few, Faithful, Forgiving, Friends! (John 15:12-13)

  • FEW: We can only really dive into deeper friendship with a small group of friends.
  • FAITHFUL: These friends have stuck with us through thick and thin. They are people who we can trust to cover our backs.
  • Here are 2 litmus tests to help us discover who these true friends are: The test of time and the test of being able to resolve conflict.
  • FORGIVING: These are people who know our faults and weaknesses, but are still for us!
  • Who are these friends in your life?